A midwife said during the pandemic she has been inundated with queries from abandoned expectant mums via INSTAGRAM — including a 12-year-old who thought she was pregnant.
Marley Hall, 39, an NHS and private midwife, said she’s constantly receiving social media messages from women who can’t get midwife appointments, and are feeling ignored by hospitals.
They have no choice but to turn to strangers and social media for answers, thanks to cancelled check ups, lack of appointments and unhelpful ‘virtual’ appointments.
The mum-of-five regularly finds herself answering queries until 1am from fraught and frightened expectant women who can’t get answers or replies from their GP or midwife.
One heartbreaking message was from a 12-year-old girl who was worried that she could be pregnant and needed help but didn’t know where to go because of lockdown.
The girl revealed she’d only had her period for one day and her friend told her that meant she could be pregnant, but as she’d never had sex, Marley quickly eased her concern and advised her to speak to her mum.
She estimates her messages have decupled – to approximately 300 a week – and is calling on the government to reinstate help they would usually give pregnant women.
Marley, from Surrey, who currently works occasional bank shifts said: “I was and still am getting a ridiculous number of DMs every day from mums due to give birth in the pandemic.
“People were asking me what to do, saying they’d rung the hospitals but nobody would answer the phone and they could only have virtual appointments with midwives.
“I’m getting hundreds of messages a week as there’s so many pregnant women out there who need support right now that are turning to Instagram for help and advice.
“With the country in lockdown, I’ve had mums replying to thank me for my help and saying I’d given them more advice than their own midwives.
“I feel really bad for these women. Something needs to change.”
Marley Hall, 39, started her Instagram account last year whilst on maternity leave after giving birth to her fifth child to educate women about pregnancy, birth and parenthood.
At the start of the year, she had around 20,000 followers, but since March her following has exploded to 65,000 thanks to women seeking out help from alternative places.
Common questions include women asking if slight bleeding in pregnancy is ok, what to do if their baby isn’t moving much or they have abdominal pain and even how to help their baby breastfeed properly.
A lot of women raised concerns about not seeing a midwife yet at 12 weeks pregnant and their antenatal classes being cancelled so they are unsure on pain relief options.
Many expectant mums reached out to ask advice on inductions and c sections and particulary about being anxious over giving birth alone without their partner.
The current governmental rules mean that pregnant women have to go to scans alone and are not allowed to have their partners by their side when they give birth.
Many expectant mothers are reaching out to her for help after feeling unsupported by their own medical practices.
She draws informative doodles by hand to help educate expectant mothers and posts them on Instagram where pregnancy advice is a hot topic at the moment.
She has had so many messages from women who are struggling to get help from their own midwives that she has sadly had to stop replying to individual DMs.
She said: “I was answering people’s questions in the beginning but it got to the point where it was taking over my day.
“I was sitting on my phone all day long trying to help people but I’ve got five kids of my own and on maternity leave so as much as I wanted to help, I couldn’t keep up with it.
“I was in bed at 1am answering questions and my other half said you can’t keep doing this so I put up a video on my highlights to say I can’t respond to all these messages.
“I try and do as much as I can if people ask questions in the comments section relating to something I’ve posted but apart from that, I can’t give one to one advice any more.
“I feel so bad for these mums. I do want to help but at the same time, I can’t save the world and I can’t do everything for everybody, as much as I’d love to.”
The hashtag #butnotmaternity has been trending on social media with people outraged by the government’s changes to allow people to go to the pub while partners can not attend the birth of their own child.
More than 60 MPs are now demanding NHS Trusts lift the ban on partners being at the bedside during labour which has been extremely upsetting for many couples.
Marley said: “There is a huge uproar regarding partners in labour and there are lots of very, very upset people which is to be expected.
“One woman told me she was worried about her blood pressure as the doctor had said she won’t be seeing anyone until she’s 28 weeks pregnant which isn’t usually the case.
“The opening statement to almost every DM that I get is always women saying they’d like help as they can’t get hold of their midwife or can’t get an appointment with their GP.
“It’s something that really needs to be addressed now with lockdown easing as it’s crazy that the rules haven’t eased for maternity.”