Divorce and Christmas do not often go happily hand in hand. The yuletide season can be an especially emotional time for families; add a divorce into the mix and things can become even more challenging. Your first thoughts will involve helping your children or child to enjoy the festive period as much as possible. In this article, we have compiled the keys ways in which you can support your child and ensure they have the best holiday season, even if you are getting a divorce.
- It’s all in the planning
Planning for Christmas is par for the course every year, whether you are going through a divorce or not. You can support your child by ensuring that all plans on where they are going and what they are doing over the holiday period are agreed well in advance. This will avoid any possible disagreements your children may become embroiled in and assure them that everything is taken care of. You may want to plan Christmas Day with one partner one year, and the other parent the next. If you are on friendly terms with your ex, you may even want to be with your children at the same time on Christmas Day to watch them open their gifts.
- Stay on positive terms with your ex
Again, this is not always an easy one. If you have been in dispute with your ex over contact with your children, for example, these issues can easily become manifested in Christmas plans. If your children want to see both of you on the big day, you should try to make this happen where possible. In some cases, for instance, where domestic abuse is involved, this is simply impossible. However, if you can, then try to remain calm and composed and focused on the children and refrain from speaking adversely about their other parent. Children can often feel compromised between their parents during a divorce, and this is the last thing you want them to experience at Christmas time.
- Discuss presents ahead of time
Another bone of contention for divorcing couples at Christmas can be the issue of gifts. Some parents may overspend in the eyes of one parent, or may not be giving enough according to the other. One parent may also feel that presents are being used to ‘buy’ the affections of their children. During a divorce, this can inflame existing matters and disputes so approach this with caution. Try speaking to your ex-spouse about what the children want for Christmas and who will buy what. It’s also often beneficial to children to help them buy a present for their other parent too.
- Make Christmas fun
The magic of Christmas doesn’t last long for children. If you have youngsters who still ‘believe’ make sure you stay focused on creating those special times, whether that’s visits to Santa, making gingerbread houses together or writing greetings cards. Even thinking about this can be tough if you are going through a particularly difficult divorce with finances and child arrangements at the forefront of your mind. However, in the long run, and as children grow older and look back on the holidays, they will thank you for the effort you made and for not burdening them with thoughts about their parents divorcing.
In summary
The key takeaway to supporting your child during a divorce at Christmas is to put their thoughts and feelings first. But it’s also important not to forget about your own needs. Surround yourself with positive and supportive friends and family who you can express your frustrations and emotions to openly. This, in turn, will provide you with the support and energy you need to concentrate on creating a special Christmas.