Break ups are very rarely easy. It could be that one party will miss the way their partner held them, or they’re forever yearning to look into their ex-lover’s eyes one last time. In any event, there’s an adjusting period where both parties are delicate and fragile.
Of course, breakups can be far more brutal than this! Shouting, screaming, more shouting, bratty text messages, public announcements of embarrassing moments plastered all over social media… there are certainly extreme situations here. Still, you’re not alone in your situation as a fifth of UK couples were close to breaking up in 2016, and it’s hard to imagine things getting much better in 3 measly years. Yay?
Ultimately, it’s hard to stick a solid landing after a breakup, but here’s a few tricks that might help.
Be Adults About It
Forgive the patronising subheading and really think about it; what’s the best way to part ways with someone? Surely not as enemies? The age old saying of ‘let’s be friends’ is rarely ever lived up to, but the truth is, it should be. Take that phrase literally if it’s at all possible. After all, why does it need to be all or nothing with someone?
In the end, a break up doesn’t need to be an intense process. There’s not always a need to cut anyone off or besmirch all the good memories you share. Even if a marriage is ending, divorce lawyers can step in to bring some order and reason to the proceedings. You can still be pals if the split is calm and cordial, and while you might be sad, treating one another as humans is the best way to move forward.
The Truth About Relationships
Relationships are often disgusting. They’re morning breath, unflushed toilets, compromising (ugh), other people’s dishes, clothes and grooming items stinking up the place, and so on and so forth. They can be very irritating at the best of times, and while being together is not all bad, there’s certainly a lot you won’t miss about being in a relationship.
Focus on the positives; freedom, agency, the chance to focus on a career, hobby or your family and friends. It’s a new beginning for both parties, so really seize that chance to literally do whatever you want. There’s more to your existence than another person. It might not be a smooth transition but celebrate that fact; you can mix things up and work on yourself now.
The Extreme Cases
It can be hard to put a positive spin on things if the break up has happened because of a terrible reason. Perhaps your partner cheated on you, or committed an unforgiveable crime? These instances are certainly no laughing matter and are much tougher for the victim to get through. After all, if you’ve been with this person for a while, your entire life can start to feel like a lie.
Well, perhaps that realisation is where the thought process should begin and end. You never really knew this person, and unfortunately, the entire relationship was a fabrication. It can be tough to come to terms with, but at the same time, any kind of honest relationship is an improvement by default. Chalk it up to time wasted and find a good guy or gal instead – life’s too short to obsess over the people who don’t spare a single thought for others.